Playing second fiddle

So I found a man who loves me. And I love him. A lot. He's the first thing I think about when I wake up, last thing I think about before I fall asleep. My day is not complete if I don't see him or speak to him.

But he is married. And that sucks. Because he is also catholic. So he'll never leave her. And he's been 100% clear about that from the start.

What to do? Breaking it off would be devastating. Especially as we work in the same office and I'd still see him all the time. I am so weak willed, I know this. It's going to end in tears, probably mine. I've already cried about him (and I don't cry). Admittedly there was lots of alcohol involved but even so.

I googled Catholicism and adultery tonight. Don't know why. It wasn't good news. Now I'm worried about his soul as well. That's a lot of responsibility to bear.

I haven't really felt guilty up to now. I didn't lead him on, didn't seduce him.  I'm single so not cheating on anyone. He's an adult, he needs to live with the choices he makes. But now I wonder. Am I a terrible person? If I was an outsider would I judge me?

Darn it. How did I get here?